50,000 Word Stories: NaNoWriMo 2010

November is National Novel Writing Month. I’m going to take a crack at it. The goal of NaNoWriMo is to crank out 50,000 words in a month — it’s all about volume, not quality. The embarrassment potential is really high here, since I haven’t tried to write a story longer than six words in something like 20 years, but I’m going to try nonetheless.

What does this mean for you? Well you, dear reader, get 30 days of disconnected snippets from my novel, since I can’t do the blog and the novel at the same time. I hope you enjoy them, and I’ll see you for regular posting in December.

My novel’s title is “The Wall”. (I just noticed the apparent Pink Floyd allusion, which is neither intentional nor significant.) If it doesn’t turn out too dreadfully, I’ll make it available for download here.

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Six Word Stories: Inspection

Upon review, the e-mails became disturbing.

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Directory Monitor

With iOS 4.0, AAPL brought File Sharing to the iPhone. This feature is pretty simple to turn on (basically, you just “[a]dd the UIFileSharingEnabled key to your application’s Info.plist file and set the value of the key to YES“, and then the user can access your app’s Documents directory through iTunes) but a little tricky to handle in practice.

The wrinkle is that you’ll probably want to manipulate the files that the user adds to (or removes from) the Documents directory and, since the user can update these files at any time, that means that you’ll probably want your app to monitor that directory for any changes. Such monitoring isn’t too complicated to set up, but it does require a trip into some of the more obscure parts of the BSD underpinnings of iOS. That’s the trip we’ll be taking today, with a demo project as a roadmap.

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Paternity Testing

I saw this excerpt (the original article is paywalled) on NRO today:

DNA tests are an anti-feminist appliance of science, a change in the balance of power between the sexes that we’ve hardly come to terms with. And that holds true even though many women have the economic potential to provide for their children themselves…Uncertainty allows mothers to select for their children the father who would be best for them. The point is that paternity was ambiguous and it was effectively up to the mother to name her child’s father, or not… Many men have, of course, ended up raising children who were not genetically their own, but really, does it matter…in making paternity conditional on a test rather than the say-so of the mother, it has removed from women a powerful instrument of choice.

The “gotcha” element of this is somewhat muted by the fact that the ideological viewpoint of the author (Melanie McDonagh) isn’t as clear as I’d like; while she seems to legitimately dislike(!) the idea of paternity testing, and thows around some feminist-like language, I couldn’t reliably say whether she’s using that language on her own behalf, or essentially attributing it to others. It’s pretty damn striking to see someone coming out in favor of fraud, though.

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Your Dreams and You

Here’s a Public Service Announcement for you. It’s harsh, but it needs to be said: Your dreams are deathly boring to everyone else.*

Now, I know this is hard to believe. As Ed Tom Bell put it in “No Country for Old Men”, when asked if his dreams were interesting: “They always is to the party concerned.” Your dreams are cooked up by your own brain, and therefore freighted with resonant imagery and associations that make them uniquely pleasing to that brain. Everyone else, lacking your peculiar neurological wiring, will wonder what the hell you’re talking about.

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Six Word Stories: Love

“Kevin’s definition of ‘love’ is … flexible.”

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Codas

I like a well-turned coda. Here are some of my favorites.

Neuromancer

He never saw Molly again.

Black Hawk Down (Film)

Major General William F. Garrison accepted full
responsibility for the outcome of the raid.

On August 2, 1996, Warlord Mohamed Farrah Aidid was
killed in Mogadishu.
The following day, General Garrison retired.

Primer

Now I have repaid any debt I may have owed you. You know all that I know. My voice is the only proof that you will have of the truth of any of this. I might have written a letter with my signature, but my handwriting is not what it used to be. Maybe you’ve had the presence of mind to record this. That’s your prerogative. You will not be contacted by me again. And if you look… you will not find me.

Barry Lyndon

Epilogue

It was in the reign of King George III
that the aforesaid personages lived and quarreled;
good or bad, handsome or ugly, rich or poor,
they are all equal now.

T-Rex’s Epitaph

Here Lies T-Rex: He Tried To Eat One Of Every Animal; Hopefully That Counts For Something!

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Deficit Concerns

Consider this story:

The president has signaled that at the start of the new year, he will speak more directly to the country about the financial choices ahead. “If we’re going to get serious about the deficit, then we’re going to have to look at everything: entitlements, defense spending, revenues. … And that’s going to be a tough conversation,” he said.

For some reason, I suspect that Obama’s vision of “everything” is going to be mostly about “revenues” (i.e., tax hikes), a little about “defense spending” (i.e., a smaller and less-capable military) and hardly at all about “entitlements” (i.e., the massive transfer programs that are blowing a hole in the budget.)

I believe that White House strategy for the next 2 years will be:

Having cranked up spending to obscene levels during our first two years, with the aid of Democratic congress, let’s try to crank taxation up to obscene levels during the next two years, with the connivance of a suckered and/or browbeaten Republican congress.

Don’t let ’em get away with it. We don’t have a deficit problem, we have a spending problem.

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Six Word Stories: Wrestling

Sumo wrestling remained confined to Japan.

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Synchronization Efficiency Proof

Last Friday I described an algorithm that would generate lists of insert and delete operations which would transform a subject list s.t. it would match a target list. I wanted the algorithm to be efficient, both in terms of its own runtime, and in terms of the operations it produced.

I concluded that post by writing:

I’m not going to present an argument that the operation set produced by this algorithm is really minimal, because that doesn’t seem like it would be fun.

Well, I can’t think of a good topic for today, so I’m going to present a stab at the proof. (For the curious: No, it wasn’t fun.)

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